Gears 5 review -GameGame

Gears of War is one of the highest selling video game franchises of all time coming in just above pets but ultimately failing to outsell Nintendo g sit has played a crucial role in the success of Xbox a console I've never played which is why this was my reaction to the e3 reveal of Gears 5 what's this Mass Effect this weird awkwardly long music video that simultaneously rips off Bohemian Rhapsody and black or white was the first time I'd ever heard of Oh bound by blood 5 No upon realizing I was uneducated on the subject my boyfriend was like how familiar are you with the gear Wars exactly not at all oh boy I envy you I thought I wasn't going to like watching him play this game because I have eyes and ears but I ended up loving it because I have eyes and ears. for me gears 5 has been the biggest surprise of the year and it taught me a valuable lesson never judge a game by its cover. turns out this loud violent game about people with strange proportions has the most considerate options for cooperative play that I've seen so far if you're typically a backseat gamer like me gears5 is a great place to become a part of your loved ones hobby so this isn't a review of what it's like to live with someone who plays gears 5 this is a review of what it's like to be a cute little robot that beeps and Boop's and does its best what's happening what did I miss first allow me to describe what it's like to be thrust into the fifth installment of this story imagine having never heard of Harry Potter and going to see the order of the Phoenix and the whole time you're wondering why all the kids at Hogwarts are linebackers seriously what is up with the character design and it can't just be that there's super soldiers or something because even the background characters are built like wreck it-ralph big hands my goodness hey why are your hands so freakishly big I don't know why are you so freakishly annoying and the scientist looks like he could throw mankind off Hell in a Cell and plummet 16 feet through an announcers table don't let the rescue heroes art-style fool you though these bromances are as deep and complex as the world's lore which is why every time a giant man started talking about his giant feelings I felt like this you know it's just cuz he cares right yeah well you know a hell of a lot more about him caring than Iowa was a shitty thing to say I'm sorry my point is it may not be easy fitting into a new group of friends who have history and freakishly large heads but who cares look at this no matter how familiar you are with gears this game is just awesome to watch more importantly no matter how familiar you are with games this gears is just awesome to play I've never seen a look at the booty shootie so frenetic and so totally overwhelming for someone like me later kids oh my god baby kids killed me even with the very thoughtful and inclusive option to play on a lower difficulty than my boyfriend I was still too intimidated to jump in as Dell because I mean look at it oh my god and reloading is a mini game uh-uh can't do it nope but the Coalition added one final failsafe to ensure that girlfriends and little brothers everywhere could tag along Jack the friendly robot I love a little bubbly robot always cute in single-player jack is half on auto pilot half controlled by player one his most powerful abilities must be selected and cast by the player which is useful yet cumbersome meaning the synergy between man and machine never reaches its full potential and that is where I come in I love being Jack I don't have to aim cuz everything just kind of farts out of me wait I have an idea what can I do this oh I just wait just wait a second just wait it's almost back I don't have to take cover because I'm invisible most of the time and I don't even have to press the right button because no matter what I do it really seems to help oh thanks for your shield baby gim me a side deal you're so good at the robot the best part of being Jack though is that the reward for literally every single side quest is a present for me finally a game with hole up a minute moments that make me feel like my boyfriend is taking me shopping not only is Jack the only upgradable character in the game meaning all the best collectibles go right into my bank account but the upgrades are ridiculously good however Jack is the one who actually has to open the boxes with the upgrades inside and I forgot to do it multiple times so my boyfriend was kind of mad at me like oh what's in the box what's in a box regardless I became so powerful that it felt like he'd became the support character in my game I was lousy oh my god leave some for me you see he started the game like this and ended the game like this I started the game like this and ended the game like this in conclusion I demand that all games from this day forward include a robot support character that lets me drop in and out as it pleases me ok time to go play Borderlands 3 goodbye.